toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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