So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
