i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
