OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
