great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
my liver is dry heaving
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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