"it" just moved
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
