if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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