Ambien. No doubt about it.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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