i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
