dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
