2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
