Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
