just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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