I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
