Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
