Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
