Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
