Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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