? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I have aggressive nipples.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
