I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
