Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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