What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
