Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
