Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
