Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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