haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
