I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
