I wanna bring you to show and tell
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
