I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
