He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
