I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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