My boss' voice literally gives me gas
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
