Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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