what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
