I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i came on her dog
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Well I just put wine in my tea
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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