I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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