We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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