didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
As shirtless as possible
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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