i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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