I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
