my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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