im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
