She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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