She is in my trunk
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
