My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
