Who did Billy Mays play for?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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