My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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