While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
