I'm going to jail i love you
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I had to cum in my sink.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
