If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
