so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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